Well, I am thrilled to report that the movie has a happy ending (to the first part of the saga, a sequel is expected to follow). When my bike tire blew out on Tuesday, that was certainly a low point for me. Beginning on Thursday, everything began to dramatically change - I got offered a new job, I was able to sell my totaled car, and we were able to buy an awesome car from a friend (more about all of this to follow).
It has been a long year, but I think that things are starting to head in the right direction again. I have only made it through by a ton of prayer, and trying my best to keep a positive attitude.
I keep a personal journal where I try to work through some thoughts I am wrestling with. I typically do not share this journal, but I thought I would put some excerpts here. I wrote this the night before all of the good things starting happening.
July 11, 2007
[In the above paragraph, I listed all of the things that had gone wrong recently]
However, I do not think it ever does any good to dwell on the bad. It will not change your circumstances. Yeah, someone might agree with me that I have been dealt a bad hand (over and over again), but so what? So many people on this earth have it so much worse. So many have been physically beaten or tortured, so many do not have food, so many do not have others that love and care for them. It is not easy remaining positive. Lately I have been feeling like I have just been getting crapped on. But crying about it is not going to help.
If you look at the top paragraph, I could list positive things from each one. Yeah, I did not get the job I interviewed for, but they were super supportive and gave me the names of others looking for jobs. Because of that, I have another interview tomorrow morning that may work out.
Yeah, my car (the car that I absolutely love) is basically toast. But perhaps it could be a blessing. Perhaps it would not have made it another year. Perhaps God knows we need a car that will last us a little farther into the future than the Camaro could get us.
Yeah, my bike tire blew up when I was riding my stinking bike 40 miles into school because I am a stupid idiot who does not set the parking brake. But, I was able to call Andy Joslin in my small group who happened to be only 2 miles where I was. He came and picked me up and let me have his car for the day. Yeah my bike might have failed me, but I have friends who treat me like family.
Yeah, things might have sucked this past year, but it could have been a lot worse. I could have gone through it all without Laura. She has been amazing. Supporting me, loving me, thinking I am amazing even though the only job I was able to find was working as a low level administrator in the science part of Duke. Last week was our 4 year anniversary. We went to Peggy’s cabin and simply rested, read, explored, watched movies, and ate. Not too many people enjoy the level of intimacy Laura and I have. So many people would give their financial freedom as well as their left arm for that. Having someone there who will love you and care for you even when the whole world is against you is worth more than millions of dollars.
So many other things have been good this past year. Never once have we gone hungry. Never once have we even come close to being broke. Our health has been great. We have made several more relationships that never would have happened otherwise. I got to serve at Duke Chapel, and while it was not the ideal job, it was an amazing experience and has the potential to open up doors for me in the future. Things could be so much worse, so as I see it I have only two options: dwell in the bad, or hope for the good. I am going to do my best to live in the latter, and attempt to avoid the former.